I had a list. Most of us have one. Whether it’s written down or strung together in a mental daisy-chain of “must-haves,” we’ve built up expectations for our future spouse.
I married my husband five years ago and walked into our new life dragging my list behind me. I wish I’d known then that this list wouldn’t prepare me at all for marriage. The real diagnosis was that I had it all backwards.
It dawned on me a few years later when I heard a wise man mention a spouse checklist (hey, I know what that is!), but not one that I’d made for my spouse (oh, guess not), one that I would create for myself (all right, now I’m listening). He suggested a list of requirements to prepare myself to be the person I knew my spouse would need. As I listened to him explain, I felt a small pressure in my chest. Yes, this would have helped me earlier.
So I’ve begun a different list. This is by no means exhaustive! There’s still plenty of room to add more ways to grow as a spouse. Also, for any given couple, some things will come easily in the relationship, and some will feel unnatural or even impossible. I’ll share my own spouse checklist along with updates on how things are going — all the while fully acknowledging that no line-item will ever be perfectly complete in this lifetime. Click here for the full article–http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2014/the-spouse-checklist