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If “being in love” is your purpose for getting married, what happens when you no longer feel in love? What happens when you no longer want to share your lives together? What is keeping the marriage alive when you stop feeling like soul mates? For marriage to last, it has to be built on a much greater purpose than the happiness and well-being of two single people. And that purpose has to be greater than any amount of stress and struggle that comes into the marriage.
When God brings couples together, he does so with a great deal of intention and vision. He knows why he created each one of us, and what he wants to accomplish in our lives. He gave us specific gifts and talents in order to fulfill that vision. He knows the plans he has for us, and those plans involve marrying the right person. God knows exactly who he wants you to marry, and why he wants you to marry them. He knows the children he wants to give you, and has a vision for their future as well. God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us—individually, and as a couple. And it’s our job to seek out that vision so that he can fulfill it through us.
When you become one in God’s heart, you also become one in God’s will. And the only way any of us will find true peace and harmony in marriage is to surrender our will to God, and trust him with our future. (Evans, Jimmy; Martin, Frank. The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person)
The purpose of marriage counseling is to help husband and wife learn to do things God’s way in their marriages. That means learning to treat your spouse with respect, kindness, and grace. It also means creating healthy boundaries that hold both spouses accountable and responsible for their behavior.
Fees for marriage counseling: $150 per session/or $350 for three sessions.
(We do not provide couple’s counseling when there has been a history of physical assaults until both spouses have made significant progress in individual counseling.)
- Lack of emotional and sexual intimacy
- Individual unresolved emotional wounds from the past
- Financial stress
- Communication problems
- Unrealistic expectations
- Jealousy, anger, and resentment
- Infidelity and deception
- Failure to put spouse first
- In-laws and children disrupting the marriage
- Inappropriate boundaries
Couples in strong, healthy marriages have the following:
- An understanding of God’s will for marriages
- Commitment to the marriage
- Respect for each other
- Good communication
- Mutual support
- Mutual friendship and warmth
- Physical and emotional intimacy
- Romance and a healthy sex life
- Independent identities and interests as individuals
Questions About Marriage Counseling
Can marriage counseling help us?
The sooner you get help for marriage problems, the greater your chances of success. Marriage counseling is successful when couples are committed to making positive changes.
What if my spouse isn’t willing to go to counseling with me?
Marriage counseling can be effective even if your spouse is unwilling to participate with you. At times, we have worked with one spouse and he/she was able to accomplish a lot individually. They were then able to take that individual growth and benefit the marriage. Sometimes only one spouse will come for a time and when the other spouse sees the positive behavior changes, he/she is encouraged and begins to participate as well.
What will counseling be like? My spouse thinks the counselor is going to take my side.
At the first session, we will talk with both spouses together or individually, depending on what is best for the couple. In subsequent sessions, we will also meet with each spouse individually (as needed) as well as meet with the couple together. Meeting individually at times gives you and your spouse opportunities to talk freely without fear of offending or hurting your spouse.
I don’t take sides. I help the two of you learn new skills and discover how to meet each other’s needs and get your own needs met in ways that are respectful and strengthen the marriage.
How much counseling will we need?
Marriage counseling usually lasts for several months and may involve 10 to 15 sessions depending on the severity of the issues and the willingness of both spouses to move forward.
What if I have more questions?
I am happy to answer any questions you have about marriage counseling. You may call, email, or complete the contact form.
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